Summer morning dream

I've been looking over the catalog. There is not one course in the "Human Studies Courses," in either the "Integrative Foundation Colloquia" or in the list of "Special Topics" that I don't want to take. I want all of them. ALL of them, I say! All I have to do is figure out how to get from here to there.

That's all.

Here I am, without any transferable degree or credits, and without financing.

All I have to do is figure out how to get over there - where those classes are. See what's over there? Look.

HMS 352 BIO/PSYCHO/SPIRITUAL INTEGRATION
Throughout the lifespan, humans experience constant
change and growth in body, mind, and spirit. Exploring
different views and practices from around the world, the
goal of this seminar is to expand the student’s awareness
and understanding of the processes involved in holistically
integrating the growth of body, mind, and spirit. Fulfills the
Systems course requirement for Human Studies majors. Meets LAC outcome: HCC1. 3 crs.

And there's this one too.

HMS 380 THE JOURNEY THROUGH CHANGE
This course explores and integrates the change process within
the systems we live in: body, self, family, group, organizational,
and societal. Various models of change are examined: Campbell’s
writings on the hero’s journey; the readiness to change
model; Schutz’s integrative biological/psychological/ organizational/
societal model; and the family life cycle model of Carter
and McGoldrick. Useful and practical strategies to deal with the
change process are discussed. Fulfills Systems course requirement
for Human Studies majors. Meets LAC outcome: HCC2. 3 crs.

Just looking at it brings on some kind of nasty swarm of harpy faeries. They know when I'm looking across the distance, and they can see what I'm looking at. They rise up off the turf, and they flit and fly around my head, and they say, "But what are you going to do with it? What is it for?" And the rocks and the root systems begin to pulse with the beat of "too much money too much money." If I ignore them - and I can, for a little while - and if I keep gazing off into the distance in that direction, a smell begins to engulf me. I do not know where it comes from, but I know what it is. It is the smell of the Punishment for Dreams. And it's toxic. Stand in it long enough to breathe it all the way in, and you'll be violently ill. This, I learned a long time ago.

There are only two ways to make it all stop. If I simply look away, all the annoying flitting things dissipate and go back to their nearby perches and hidey holes, the ground holds still again, and the smell evaporates. It works every time. Just stop wanting it. One hundred percent of the time, poof. Instant calm. Just look away, and the unpleasantness stops.

But there's another way.

Walk.

Go.

"Take steps."

Youth made the stepping easier. A couple of decades ago, I could just avoid all the unpleasantness. I could, in fact, ignore it completely. There was enough movement in my youthful self that I could sometimes deny the very existence of this phenomenon. But I've had too many birthdays for that to be true now.

Now I have to choose. Look away ... or walk. I know now how much effort it takes to walk. I know how easy it is to stay - and glance across the distance from time to time - but never for long enough to disturb the faeries or get the ground to pulse. I know how to look and not get sick. I could do that. But ... I saw something this morning, while I was looking over there.

HMS 381 PSYCHOLOGY
OF TRANSFORMATIONAL NARRATIVE
This course focuses on the components of and preconditions
that foster positive change through narrative communication
and how that communication can shape the whole person.
Students will look at why stories are often so empowering
when other forms of instruction have failed. They will use
their own life stories to see how transformative sharing can
reframe personal history. Meets LAC outcome: HCC5. 3 crs.

I've made an appointment with my academic advisor. Don't tell the faeries.