He's not. Andy Rooney is not dead.
Just thought I'd tell everyone that.
See ... yesterday I had to take a test at the library, to see if I can graduate up a level in my employment there. One of the things I had to do was look things up in reference books. Remember reference books? They have pages and a binding and an index. You know the sort of thing. You can identify them in the library by the sticker. It says "Reference."
One of the things I had to find was an address for Andy Rooney. Well, I couldn't find it, and then wrote down a best guess, and then was telling someone about it after my test, and that person said, "He's dead! How are you supposed to provide an address for that?"
So, today, in speaking with the librarian (my boss, who will be hiring me at this new level!), I said that they need to revise their test down there at the head offices. Because Andy Rooney's dead, I said. Can't find an address for a dead man, I said.
BUT HE'S NOT!
I just looked it up! Librarian says, "No he's not. I watch him every week." I say, "Are you sure?" She says, "Yes. I'm pretty sure ..." So I look it up.
So, just for the record,
Andy Rooney is not dead.
He's old. He's really really old. He's 91.
But he's not dead.