Because one daughter and one young giant have now vacated this house and taken with them anything they thought they could use ("can I take that table?"), there are now four bedrooms and two beds for three people and any guests. This is not a workable situation. One lone "sack of denim" futon mattress is awaiting export to the young giant's apartment, and it was slept upon last night by a not-very-rested uncle.
So ... this morning ...
Me: "We have to solve this mattress problem this week."
Him: "Just buy the right lottery ticket like I keep telling you."
Me: "Uh-huh. Well, here's what IKEA has ... and I've looked at Costco and Cotton Cloud."
Uncle: "Let's find a mattress that fell off a truck and got run over. It would be cheaper than buying a new one and more comfortable than that thing I slept on last night."
Him: "Figure out a way to buy one at the CAT dealer. They can always get money out of us even if we don't have any."
Now, this is a brilliant solution. All I have to do is buy a mattress at the Caterpillar dealer. They've got toy Caterpillar trucks, and parts for real ones, and coats, and mugs. Surely they carry mattresses.