Oh, $%^*&#!!! Today is Tuesday, and at about 9:00 in the morning, I've just realized that yesterday was Monday, the day of the delayed beginning for the course in Personal Writing I was scheduled to teach. I've realized this fact in the same moment as realizing that I never went anywhere yesterday. If students had shown up (they didn't) they would have had no teacher. I didn't go to my own danged class!!

Brilliant job. Just brilliant. Way to impress the people who make the decisions down there at the Hegewald Center. (geeeez!)

But - the thing is - there were no students either. (I'm having an existential crisis with the two reactions. I screwed up. I wasn't ready. ... And ... No one needed me to be. No students. No one came.)

So I called the nice lady in charge, and she was ready for my call. She's even more disappointed than I am that no one showed up! (Knowing this from her is calming to my angsty moment.) She has ideas and proposals, and would like me to find a way to offer it again in the spring. Heartening. This is heartening to me.

It was not a bad target, but my aim was off.

I'd sure like to know, from anyone who reads this little blog, what would you attend? Pick one of the following, or invent something else, and help me figure this out. I've got good stuff, and I want to give it to people. So ... here are some options.
  • Getting To Know You: a one-day seminar in self-discovery through writing
  • Saturday Self-discovery Series ~ on the third Saturday of each month, gather with others to gain clarity, optimism, and a sense of purpose through guided writing and discussion
  • Express Yourself! ~ Would you like to have clearer thoughts and the right words for saying what you really mean? The writing exercises in this course are adventures in self-discovery.
See, that's what the director thinks would work - to offer this information as self-discovery rather than as writing. The target we're trying to hit is the passing on of some simple, basic writing techniques, all of which are found in some easily accessible books and materials currently on the market, that can give anyone who uses them some wonderful benefits. The benefits are things like:
  • more resilient immune system
  • greater clarity of thought
  • better problem solving
  • clearer direction in life choices
  • emotional release
  • self-knowledge
  • release from defensiveness
  • release from resentment
  • and a lot of other things
This information is gleaned by me (because I'm me and can't help gathering and experimenting with it), organized into a course, and offered so that a student could use it as it is, or branch out from what I've offered and find paths of his or her own. As you see, I've got my perennial problem - a huge, multi-faceted Big Idea, and a serious need for focus. I need better aim.

Any of you readers have any feedback at all? I can use anything you can give me.


Kathryn said...

I'd go for the 3rd - Express Yourself. But that is me. Different folks react to different words to draw them. Hope that it all picks up and works out. :)

Ami said...

Do you still get paid if you don't show up? Do the students still get credit?

Stephanie said...

Thanks, Kathryn. That helps!

And no, Ami. And ... no. See, it's not a "school" class. It's community center at the parks & rec department. I'd have to teach to get paid, and there's no "credit" to be had by anyone.

Ami said...

Oh,sorry. Guess that's a Jewish knee jerk kinda question...

Stephanie said...

Well, I don't think any cultural bias is necessary for confusion in the matter. Hell, I'M confused about my life most of the time! (Which is probably why I spaced out an obligation like showing up to teach a course I'm really excited to be teaching ... groan ...)