Extreme Shepherding Indeed!

Go, Border Collies! Go!

Who says men can't plan a wedding?

(hat tip, Susan! This is great!)

Nurture, schmurture

I bought a cactus.

A week later it died.

And I got depressed, because I thought,

Damn.

I am less nurturing than a desert.

-- Demetri Martin

What happens when a Supreme Court Judge does a little creative writing

Okay ... so I don't know if he meant to be funny, but this made me laugh out loud!

Writing for the high court majority was Justice John Paul Stevens, the court's most liberal member, joined by the court's four conservatives. If Congress had intended to authorize two members to act alone, he said, "it could have said so." Instead, Congress imposed a three-member minimum as a quorum. Allowing two members to run the agency because Congress and the White House can't agree on new members, he said, would be "letting the board create a tail that would not only wag the dog, but would continue to wag after the dog has died."

Funny, right?
(see today's Morning Edition for the whole story)

Modern American Discourse, Part 2

Click on it if you can't read it. It's a good one. (Cheers, Deanna!)

Genius!

This from Genius Town, via Utne Reader.

See this guy choosing a book? In a phone box? Yes, that's right. It's ..

The old fashioned phone booth that was converted into the world’s smallest library

I've been really sick this week, but the laughing I'm doing about this stroke of pure genius just might cure me!

Bitter vs. Open

I've got a spoof on "You Might Be a Redneck" percolating away in the back of my mind. If I ever do it, my "You Might Be a Fundamentalist" will include THIS BRILLIANTLY DONE concept. From Indexed via Prattlenog (again) ...

and subtitled by me ...

PONDEROUS
(If you're bitter, you might be a fundamentalist.)

Not all fundamentalists are bitter (but there are very few of those), and not all bitter people are fundamentalists (at least, they're not religious fundamentalists ... but I bet a conversation would show what they're fundamentalist about). But this is a tell. For sure and certain, just like a stutter or a twitch or a gesture is a tell for some people's anxiety or lies or insecurity or glee, this is a tell. If you're bitter, you might be a fundamentalist.

Because I love a good diagram ...

...here's one I've just seen over at Despair.com

Wait - one more thing

Thanks to Melanie, I have just now seen Indexed. Oh, this is GOOD. Check it out!

Yes, it's actually a professional (British!) ukelele orchestra

So here's my theory. If you live close enough to large bodies of moving water (like in the maritime Northwest, where I live), you have a certain kind of crazy. Apparently, if you live surrounded by water, like they do in Great Britain, you have this kind of crazy in a particularly virulent strain. I just saw this at Susan's blog, and then showed it to a family member who responded, "So ... Woodhouse didn't really have to make anything up, did he? The Brits are just like that." Yep. It looks like it. Britain's Got Talent, all right. Here are the pros!

The targeted marketing followup email you get if you order Pashtun language books for your daughter the soldier to take with her to Afghanistan

Dear Amazon.com Customer,

As someone who has purchased or rated Pashto Dictionary & Phrasebook: Pashto-English English-Pashto (Hippocrene Dictionary & Phrasebooks) (Hindi Edition) by Nicholas Awde, you might like to know that Loto Cymraeg. A Fun Way to Reinforce Welsh Vocabulary is now available. You can order yours for just $32.00 by following the link below.
Loto Cymraeg. A Fun Way to Reinforce Welsh Vocabulary Loto Cymraeg. A Fun Way to Reinforce Welsh Vocabulary
Colette Elliott
Price: $32.00

Product Description
These attractive, easy-to-use, photocopiable lotto boards provide a stimulating and meaningful way to develop reading, listening and speaking skills when teaching popular topics such as numbers, food, animals and clothes. Three versions of each board are provided - words only, words and pictures, and pictures only - allowing maximum flexibility, particularly in mixed ability classes. The unique call sheets enable you to follow the game closely and to select which team you want to win.

(I'm sure there are many Welsh speakers in Afghanistan. I'll order this right up!)

Still in love

If I lived in a different era or a different part of the world, I might be wondering where my next meal was coming from, or whether or not I would live to see another day by avoiding the violence. I might be wondering what it would be like to get a university education, or even to read at all - because I am a woman. But as it is, I live in a land of privilege, in an era of possibility, and in the enjoyment of time and health enough to pretty much choose my way in the world. I have enough sense to be grateful for it.I am, apparently, also built "sassy as can be," like the bride of Adam in Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. I always figure that if I can think of a question, that there must be an answer, you know? If a situation presents itself ... like "seven slummocky backwoodsmen" and the fact that they've got no manners, then there must be a way to handle things. First, you turn over the table, and tell them that if they're going to act like hogs, then they can eat like hogs. And the next morning, you steal their clothes to wash them before those guys can even wake up. Even slummocky backwoodsmen eat more politely if they're trying to keep blankets wrapped arount their naked bodies at the same time. Solve the dilemma, and the brothers get brides, right? They learn to dance.Well, at the moment, other people are not making me all feisty and determined. At the moment, the elements of my own life are making me crazy. Once again, I have misplaced important bits of information. Once again, I drove to the campus and had a helpful appointment with an amazing instructor, and once again I wrote down stuff I need to know, and once again I lost it! How on earth does this happen? The reams and piles and heaps and stacks of paper in my life are worse than seven times seven slummocky backwoodsmen! They simply will not behave in a rational manner.

The thing is, though, I'm in love ... and when you're in love, when you're really in love ... you get on with it. So, sans essential Notes To Self, I am getting on with it. This quarter, two weeks behind because --- well, just because, I am finally ready to get to the next set of PLA essays. This time it will be:

1. SP 105: Listening
1st draft: 4/20 submit for credit: 4/27
4 l.d. credits from PCC’s course to replace the planned 3 u.d. M.U. Effective
Listening course

2. SP 111: Public Speaking
first draft: 5/4 submit for credit: 5/11
4 l.d. credits from PCC’s course to replace the planned 3 u.d. M.U. Public
Presentations course

3. SP 227: Non-verbal Communication
first draft: 5/18 submit for credit: 5/25
4 l.d. credits from PCC’s course to replace the planned 3 u.d. M.U. Non-verbal
Communication course

4. ILS 300: Literature for Children
first draft: 6/1 submit for credit: 6/8
This course is for four upper division credits – perhaps consider writing for fewer
credits or for lower division?

See that? That's what my instructor helped me with last week on the ditzy day when I lost all the notes I took during our conference. Instead of a mere 9 or 12 credits this quarter, PLA writing is set up to deliver 15 or 16 credits, and that's in addition to the online (3 credit) Lit course and the on campus (1 credit) course this quarter. When you write for PLA, you really rack 'em up. If you can remember what you're supposed to be doing. And hang on to your Notes To Self. And budget your time. And stop writing for goofing off at your blog and get back to your Lit text so you can do your assignment. Which is due today. (bye!)

PhotoFuniaWarholiaStephania

Give five minutes ... Get a sweet explanation

My brain, ordinarily quite sufficient for any task at hand, is a brain that simply will not, will not, understand money stuff. I would not, could not, in a box or with a fox or anywhere else with any other creature for company. I swear. I've tried. The things that have money amounts attached to them are the set of things that slip off the surface of my skull-encased thinking organ and slide into oblivion ...

... until now.

Here, at last, is a way to explain finances that makes sense to me. Invest five minutes of your time today - listen to this. You can read it if you want, but it's a very good listen. It's not only a good explanation, it's really funny - because ...well ... haven't you ever traded away bits of your school lunch?

Sweet Memories Of A Snack Food Financial Scheme

by Alex Blumberg

Morning Edition, March 13, 2009 · Today, Josh Bearman has gone straight. He's a successful writer in Los Angeles. But he was briefly a criminal mastermind — in 1980 — when he transferred to a new school in Minneapolis and joined the third grade.

Once upon a time ...

My cousin posted this - a few others have as well, I now see - but I couldn't resist. This child is Childhood. "Amelie, Jr." someone has called her. If school re-teaches me how to think like this, all my time and effort will have paid off in sparklers and bells.


Once upon a time... from Capucha on Vimeo.

Perspective

Send any work

When officials asked for the Welsh translation of a road sign, they thought the reply was what they needed.

Unfortunately, the e-mail response to Swansea council said in Welsh:

"I am not in the office at the moment. Send any work to be translated".

So that was what went up under the English version which barred lorries from a road near a supermarket.

"When they're proofing signs, they should really use someone who speaks Welsh," said journalist Dylan Iorwerth.

Make the cup holder come back out

Umm .... computers are a discussion topic in this house. Pretty much since the early days of home computers, we've had one, and it's generally been assembled, component by component, by the man and then the men in the house. And I've never been the techno-maven. I call for help when I need it. But ... I'm a little more savvy than some people, apparently.

Help, I Can't Find The 'Any" Key

Morning Edition, September 25, 2008 · The technology staffing firm, Robert Half Technology, asked more than a thousand IT executives what are the most baffling questions to come across your computer help desk. They include the query from a computer user who thought the CD-ROM drive was a drink holder and called to ask, "How do I get my computer's coffee-cup holder to come out again?"Another caller became confused when his computer told him to press any key to continue. He asked, "Where's the 'any' key?" Then there's caller who dialed in asking, "Why isn't my wireless mouse connected to the computer?"

Anybody else wanna proofread this thing before we send it out?

Morning Edition, September 5, 2008

People planning to go duck hunting may find a different quarry.

Government permits for hunting migratory birds are called "duck stamps." Duck stamps, which cost $15 a piece, are required to hunt migratory waterfowl. The government uses nearly all the revenue to purchase waterfowl habitat for the National Wildlife Refuge System. In 2006-2007, the latest figures available, duck stamp purchases brought in nearly $22 million.

But a printing error sends people trying to acquire duck stamps to 1-800-TRAMP24 instead of 1-800-STAMP24.

Very friendly women answer the phone.

Cat Man Do

Now, I'm not naming names here ... but I KNOW this cat.