as Americans, the most self- conscious people in the world, and the most addicted to the belief that the other nations are in a conspiracy to under-value them.Henry James
author (1843 - 1916)
Moments of clarity, attempts to focus, and questions to ponder in an intentional life
as Americans, the most self- conscious people in the world, and the most addicted to the belief that the other nations are in a conspiracy to under-value them.
, I scrubbed the shower today. There's some serious avoidance and procrastination going on when scrubbing seems like a good idea. But I recognize the signs. It's these two books - they're getting to me. And as I fall asleep at night, the story I am writing begins to play in my head again.
Over time, I have figured out that corporate prayer is to religion as orchestrated instruments are to a symphony, and as cooperating voices are to choirs. I have played and sung music with others, and I can tell you. These things are the same. Once you learn the notes of the "music" off the page, you can really begin to be in the music, and be part of the music - you begin to really play the music. Together, the parts in concert with each other makes a thing not possible for any one person alone to make. The sounds all come at once of course, but when music is being made in its most full and living sense, it's not just the sounds. The individual energies and emotions and the relationships between all the players and all that each one brings to the corporate activity, and the lives and energies and attentions of the audience, all gather together for the "live music" experience. If you have ever been an audience to this or participant in it, you know that it is not like any other thing. It is its own thing. The corporate experience of music is its own thing.
They had the communion men in a vocation have, and together, they processed up the aisle and together they left again at the end of the Sunday's service, the older, bent, much more frail man leaning on the arm of the younger ones. At least, that is what we could see with our mortal eyes. I think, though, that if we had but a little of our immortal sight, we would be seeing things quite the other way round. And I know that now the music of our prayers has been changed. He prays better now - we will have to wait awhile to pray with him again.“When you listen to somebody else,
whether you like it or not,
what they say becomes part of you.” -- David Bohm
"To talk to someone who does not listen
is enough to tense the devil." -- Pearl Bailey
Someone has locked their keys in the car, or they've had a collision "with airbag deployment," or they're in labor by the side of the road ... and they call Onstar - and someone gets them out of their various predicaments. (I'm not sure I want to live in a world where there is no possible thing I can do that will ultimately have a consequence ... where all I have to do is press a blue button and all will be well, no matter what kind of a knuckle head I've been ... but I digress.)
And we can't (and wouldn't) unlock the car doors for the person who is peering at the keys in there -- but while we don't call the emergency personnel (or anyone else), we do seem to have the role of saying, "Yes, I know you can get from where you are to where you want to go. I've driven there before."
One thing I think would wreck our Phonehome Service (a service provided currently both on the phone and in person) is some sort of presumption that we were the ones who needed to drive their vehicles. They'd never figure anything out if we did that. But fortunately, we have three kids, and there are only two of us. So over the years, we've learned to give them as much of their own lives as they could possible handle - all the time - at each age. They've chosen their own vehicles, and we don't even know how to drive them.
Here - from the King James version of the Holy Scripture - is one of my favorite, most deeply satisfying, and reassuring passages. It's from the thirty-seventh chapter of the book of the Prophet Ezekiel.
We don't do Evangelists. (I've just realized that that could be taken in a couple of ways, and you can feel free to take it in any way that seems fitting to you.) So all of this parade of "Revival Meetings" and "Altar Calls" and men who "had to" sacrifice their lives with their families in order to follow "God's call" to travel around and yell and weep and plead and stomp at people ... it was all novelty to me. I had no context for it. For me, it was like stepping through the pages of a Mark Twain novel and getting trapped in the story. For four long years (because I'm not a quitter!), I stayed in that waking dream, and I saw the panoply of people who called themselves Evangelists.
We didn't see the likes of Mr. Graham among the Evangelists who passed through our college - that man held consort with the Lib'rals! He was not propuhly sepahrated frum the world - so we did not see him. But this poster is a pretty good rendition of the enthusiastic fervor that surrounds the Suth'n Revahvuhl Meeting, with the very "dynamic preaching" - which dynamism increases incrementally each day, if you get a whole week of it, as we did every spring. That was my college's idea of Spring Break.
Mr. Mosley is a bit ... well, he's scary! But, he's scary in the way that your best teachers and your most inspiring role models have been scary - he's scary in the "I really want to measure up for him" kind of scary. Motivating scary. "'Potential' just means you ain't done it yet" scary. Stop whining and get busy scary.
Have a conference with me about your life and your troubles ... the issues you can't resolve ... the crap that keeps making you slip and fall because you just never know when you're about to step in it ... the parts of life you don't get ... and I'll begin a course of therapy with you. This therapy will consist of only about 10% talk, and the rest will be spent in watching movies, attending plays, and reading books. We will talk about what you saw in the assigned narrative, but the point of it is the narrative itself, and the ability of the imagination to enter into it. How's that sound? Want in?
Novels were scorned and forbidden by Victorian Era Presbyterians, and "romantic" continues to be a word of dismissive rejection. It means "not realistic" - or ... "not practical."
in the most odiously block-headed and simplistic sense of that phrase - declare that the parables Jesus told were all "true stories" about real people everyone would have known. Nonsense! Why the whole reason for the Bible in the first place is for the keeping of the record of The Story! It's a story - it's about God's interaction with people in time on earth, and it is a story, ultimately, of Betrayal and Redemption. It's a story - the whole thing together is, I mean. It's not a series of stories having nothing to do with each other.
have an infinite shelf life. Not quite. You would taste a difference if you bit into a Twinkie that was on the shelf since 1930. The snack used to have banana-cream filling. Vanilla replaced it during the World War II banana shortage. Now, Hostess has brought it back. After eating one, a New York woman says, "It almost makes it seem like it's a little bit healthier."
of a Good Story. It draws us in - every time - nobody can resist a good story. Very little children will listen (over and over and over) as their favorite stories are told, and will revel (over and over and over) in the anxiety of the baby bird looking for its mother. I haven't yet met the child who didn't care about that bird - for the eighty-seventh time.
When I started this blog back in January, I wrote about a painting - Between Green and Orange, by Don Dahlke. I began to see that the Land Between was my native land. I can see now that I live between the seen and unseen - between the mortal and immortal - between the theory and the practice - in the land of Why and What About The Other Thing. I think this is why that painting made me cry - it was calling me to come to where I really live. Between.
When I think about that painting it is the same as listening for the Story. I find myself straining to hear -- something. Music, maybe. But "music of the spheres" and a sound made when "the trees of the field clap their hands." Choirs too - I hear choirs - almost. It is Emily of New Moon's "flash" that comes to me.It had always seemed to Emily,
ever since she could remember, that she was very, very near to a world of wonderful beauty. Between it and herself hung only a thin curtain; she could never draw the curtain aside--but sometimes, just for a moment, a wind fluttered it and then it was as if she caught a glimpse of the enchanting realm beyond--only a glimpse--and heard a note of unearthly music.
This moment came rarely--went swiftly, leaving her breathless with the inexpressible delight of it. She could never recall it--never summon it--never pretend it; but the wonder of it stayed with her for days. It never came twice with the same thing. To-night the dark boughs against that far-off sky had given it. It had come with a high, wild note of wind in the night, with a shadow wave over a ripe field, with a greybird lighting on her window-sill in a storm, with the singing of "Holy, holy, holy" in church, with a glimpse of the kitchen fire when she had come home on a dark autumn night, with the spirit-like blue of ice palms on a twilit pane, with a felicitous new word when she was writing down a "description" of something. And always when the flash came to her Emily felt that life was a wonderful, mysterious thing of persistent beauty.
But that is Emily's flash. For me, it is different. For me, it is a door. I stand in front of a door that is barely open, but is opening. On the other side, I know - I know in a way that is more certain than my awareness of my own existence - I know that when the door opens, what lies on the other side is a wonderful, mysterious thing of persistent beauty. All the best stories are, I think, the promise of it. And all the anxieties we feel (all the plot points of all the stories) are the human worry that when that door opens, we might miss it.
"Journals were not in vogue when I was a child. I kept a journal probably because Emily of New Moon kept a journal, not because I had any encouragement from my teachers or family. I also kept a journal because somebody gave me a pretty notebook. I used to love to go into stationery stores and look at the pretty notebooks, particularly when I was in France and saw the notebooks with marbleized covers and little leather corners. You couldn't see a notebook like that and not want to write in it."Emily sat on the sofa with her eyes cast down, a slight, black, indomitable little figure. She folded her hands on her lap and crossed her ankles. They should see she had manners.
Ellen had retreated to the kitchen, thanking her stars that that was over. Emily did not like Ellen but she felt deserted when Ellen had gone. She was alone now before the bar of Murray opinion. She would have given anything to be out of the room. Yet in the back of her mind a design was forming of writing all about it in the old account-book. It would be interesting. She could describe them all--she knew she could. She had the very word for Aunt Ruth's eyes--"stone-grey." They were just like stones--as hard and cold and relentless. Then a pang tore through her heart. Father could never again read what she wrote in the account-book.
Still--she felt that she would rather like to write it all out. How could she best describe Aunt Laura's eyes? They were such beautiful eyes--just to call them "blue" meant nothing--hundreds of people had blue eyes--oh, she had it--"wells of blue"--that was the very thing.
And then the flash came!
It was the first time since the dreadful night when Ellen had met her on the doorstep. She had thought it could never come again--and now in this most unlikely place and time it had come--she had seen, with other eyes than those of sense, the wonderful world behind the veil. Courage and hope flooded her cold little soul like a wave of rosy light. She lifted her head and looked about her undauntedly--"brazenly" Aunt Ruth afterwards declared.
So he had to move. A lot. Often. Frequently. And not down the street ... down the globe. So that was the bad news - for Athanasius.
And eventually the Church came down on the side of Orthodoxy, and the Arians were declared to be the heretics. (Not that this heresy disappeared. We're in more of a Gnostic phase as a culture at the moment, but Arianism never really goes away.) It was Athanasius's bad news (and serious inconvenience) that he was hounded from town to town, only to be reinstated as Bishop of Alexandria again, and then exiled again. What a life!
Hydra Heads of multi-mouthed attack and injury on Christian people everywhere, apparently until the Age to Come), Athanasius went all over the known world, and everywhere he went he fulfilled his office as a Bishop and defender of the Faith. We needed him. We still do.
But here, where we are, we do know a few important things. We know what we're supposed to do. You don't believe me? Well, here's the list. (hint: It hasn't changed for awhile.) And here's the short-hand for the list. The first four are our duty toward God, the last six are our duty to our neighbors, and they don't change.